I now think I understand what people are talking about when they speak of marriage jitters. For the last few days it’s been as if the world was falling on my head. Is it only me, or have people been particularily pushy, demanding, impatient, intolerant, lacking understanding, hurried and obnoxious for the last few days. I feel as if I should be reflecting on the commitment I’m about to undertake but there is simply no time to give it a thought. I feel I should have taken the time needed to prepare for the event, prepare for receiving my guests, prepare for looking pretty for my love, prepare my state of mind for this big step I’m about to take, but this time it is just not an option. “Just go with the flow ...” (and hope it won’t show, you’re not ready to go ... Uh, what if he said no?)
I could have sworn the whole universe was working against me. Even the weather’s been stormy and freezing, meaning that I instantly have to prepare my car for the winter, and that it’s almost life threatening to be out running errands ... Work is all of a sudden crazy, my colleagues pester me about all the stuff they could so easily do themselves but won’t because they are so used to me doing it. Then, I worry about money because of unforeseen expenses and the organisations I’m running are losing sponsors and grants. (Why does money have to be an issue in this world anyway!) Then I get a very undeserved ticket on my car because the Fulbright lady has me delayed when I’m running errands. The old lady at the district commissioner’s doesn’t understand anything when I go there to hand in papers. Then this awful cold sore on my lips (that I don’t know how to deal with because I never get them). (Oh, and by the way, did I mention the fact that I’ve gotten fat too!) Then my internet connection isn’t working at all, forcing me to run extra errands, of course. Then I lose my car keys when I’m trying to make it to work early. Then, the next day, my car runs out of batteries. Ayeh, is it any wonder that on top of this I don’t find time to prepare for my test this weekend ...
So, stress, stress and then yet more stress. Why do people ever go through with this at all? Or why should I, for that matter. Hmm, well, because tomorrow I’m gonna be with my sweetie and he’s gonna make everything so right, at least for a while. And it will all be worth it.
Friday, October 22, 2004
Monday, October 04, 2004
Morning Glory
Early mornings are so great. They have this special feel to them. It’s almost like time standing still for a while.
I know that waking up in the morning isn’t always the most fun thing you do. (Still, waking up next to the one you love isn’t such a bad reminder of how great life is, right?) But once you are up, you have the best hour of the day ahead of you. That is, if you take your time. There should be a rule stating that nobody can have you speed for the first hour after you wake up. Then, what do you do? You enjoy a good shower, you carefully dress, you have a nice coffee and/or breakfast, you read the morning paper, and then you step outside, into the day. And this is the only time of the day where you are not under pressure, not feeling as if you should be doing something else.
Early mornings are quiet, peaceful, serene, … Do you remember early paper rounds from your childhood? Being up and out before everybody. The world is so calm it makes you think of heaven, the sun gleaming at you, the stillness such that you feel detached from the three dimensions of the matter.
To my dismay, not everybody seems to share my opinion that mornings should be taken advantage of. As a demonstration of this it’s almost impossible to find a café open before lunch. Which is a tragedy, because mornings are exactly the time where you would like to sit in a café and ponder. Luckily, mom still found a couple of those. (She has a nose for places that open early.) And I stole a moment and had coffee with her before I went to work this morning. Best thing I did with my day!
I know that waking up in the morning isn’t always the most fun thing you do. (Still, waking up next to the one you love isn’t such a bad reminder of how great life is, right?) But once you are up, you have the best hour of the day ahead of you. That is, if you take your time. There should be a rule stating that nobody can have you speed for the first hour after you wake up. Then, what do you do? You enjoy a good shower, you carefully dress, you have a nice coffee and/or breakfast, you read the morning paper, and then you step outside, into the day. And this is the only time of the day where you are not under pressure, not feeling as if you should be doing something else.
Early mornings are quiet, peaceful, serene, … Do you remember early paper rounds from your childhood? Being up and out before everybody. The world is so calm it makes you think of heaven, the sun gleaming at you, the stillness such that you feel detached from the three dimensions of the matter.
To my dismay, not everybody seems to share my opinion that mornings should be taken advantage of. As a demonstration of this it’s almost impossible to find a café open before lunch. Which is a tragedy, because mornings are exactly the time where you would like to sit in a café and ponder. Luckily, mom still found a couple of those. (She has a nose for places that open early.) And I stole a moment and had coffee with her before I went to work this morning. Best thing I did with my day!
Friday, October 01, 2004
The Five Classes of Bloggers
I can see five kinds of bloggers out there:
The geeks. I don’t read those pages, ‘cause they tend to look very confusing, have lots of features on them, graphics, tag boards, chat rooms, online computer games. Visibly, for guys who live on the internet and don’t account for much else.
The historians. I sometimes bookmark those if I come across a good one. These are people who are passionate about society and politics, internal and international, and are compelled to share their opinions and views with the citizens of the web. Most of them upgrade their web pages regularly, because by definition they always have something to say. The headlines of the day provide them eternally with subjects.
The moms. Family oriented pages! They report on their children, write often with the same passion as the historians, only their world is the home. Most of them seem to be housewives, or at least on maternity leave for the time being, also most of them seem to have infants, and the infant then often has a web page of his/her own.
The students. Into this category fall possibly a few sub categories, depending on what the bloggers put the emphasis: There are those who just left their homes (or not) for college, and recount the student life, the classes, the papers to write, the exams, the friends, and not least: the parties. There are also the ones who are studying abroad and give reports to their family and friends through their blog. Also, I would put into the same category newly graduates, who may have just started their first job, because the blogs seem to resemble the former, only jobs and exciting/ frustrating/ promising careers now replace what used to be school.
The philosophers. The essence of blogging: They seem to blog first of all for themselves. I guess the purpose is not necessarily to have readers but to have an arena to ponder, muse and rant, depending. Among the ones I’ve seen, those I find worth reading usually seem to be of a certain age – I would say at least thirty-something, and actually sometimes middle aged … Some are poetic, compelling, touching and some might even classify as literature.
Then I guess there may be a certain flow: students may turn into geeks, or geeks grow up to become normal students, students may eventually turn into moms (that’s life), moms into philosophers, philosophers into historians …
The geeks. I don’t read those pages, ‘cause they tend to look very confusing, have lots of features on them, graphics, tag boards, chat rooms, online computer games. Visibly, for guys who live on the internet and don’t account for much else.
The historians. I sometimes bookmark those if I come across a good one. These are people who are passionate about society and politics, internal and international, and are compelled to share their opinions and views with the citizens of the web. Most of them upgrade their web pages regularly, because by definition they always have something to say. The headlines of the day provide them eternally with subjects.
The moms. Family oriented pages! They report on their children, write often with the same passion as the historians, only their world is the home. Most of them seem to be housewives, or at least on maternity leave for the time being, also most of them seem to have infants, and the infant then often has a web page of his/her own.
The students. Into this category fall possibly a few sub categories, depending on what the bloggers put the emphasis: There are those who just left their homes (or not) for college, and recount the student life, the classes, the papers to write, the exams, the friends, and not least: the parties. There are also the ones who are studying abroad and give reports to their family and friends through their blog. Also, I would put into the same category newly graduates, who may have just started their first job, because the blogs seem to resemble the former, only jobs and exciting/ frustrating/ promising careers now replace what used to be school.
The philosophers. The essence of blogging: They seem to blog first of all for themselves. I guess the purpose is not necessarily to have readers but to have an arena to ponder, muse and rant, depending. Among the ones I’ve seen, those I find worth reading usually seem to be of a certain age – I would say at least thirty-something, and actually sometimes middle aged … Some are poetic, compelling, touching and some might even classify as literature.
Then I guess there may be a certain flow: students may turn into geeks, or geeks grow up to become normal students, students may eventually turn into moms (that’s life), moms into philosophers, philosophers into historians …
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